Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Demise of Real Bread


Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when men were men and a plain old loaf of white bread was BREAD -- wholesome, nutritious, even tasty!

The stuff the supermarkets stock today, no matter how many daffodils are painted on the wrapper, no matter what picturesque 'farm' houses the bakery, no matter what Pennsylvania Dutch sect is responsible, all those modern loaves are creepy -- they have a shelf life of MONTHS, they actually get softer for the first few days, and they taste like aerated styrofoam.


Do yourself a big favor:

Run to your nearest bakery and buy a loaf of plain white bread (They've got it in the back room somewhere, behind the streuzels) Order it UNSLICED. Now you're back in control of your bread destiny... thin slices for toast, thick slabs for sandwiches, and an actual bread touch, feel and smell!


Click on the headline, and read the horror story of modern bread -- you'll never go back!


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Did I Count Right?


Are there 32 police officers in the borough of Madison and only one woman?
Holy machismo, Batman!

In New York City, 17 percent of the force is female... and that's some tough duty, too! For our police force to sneak into the 21st century of equal opportunity, we should have at least five women officers.

Click on the headline, meet the officers, and do your own count.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Johnny Mercer's 100 years -- Rolling on the Atchinson, Topeka and the Sante Fe!



Lyricist and composer Johnny Mercer � born Nov. 18, 1909, in Savannah, Ga. � wrote or co-wrote more than 1,000 songs, including American Songbook standards like "Skylark," "That Old Black Magic" and "Come Rain or Come Shine."

Mercer wrote the impishly satirical "Hooray for Hollywood," too � along with a total of 90 of that town's most famous exports. His Academy Awards tally includes four statues (one for what's possibly his most famous tune, "Moon River") and 19 nominations.

Mercer's musical collaborators included titans like Harold Arlen, Jerome Kern and Henry Mancini, and his range was prodigious: He turned out both light-footed comedy lyrics like the one for "Spring, Spring, Spring" (from the film Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) and swooningly beautiful rhapsodies on the order of "Laura," "Dream" and "I Remember You."

His witty wordplay made the up-tempo numbers work, but for many of his fans, it's the indelible word-pictures in Mercer's ballads that make him a legend. (Hear Ella Fitzgerald sing "Early Autumn" to see why.)

Johnny Mercer died in 1976.





(from NPR Radio)

BTW, in 1965 Sarah Vaughn and I shared the same apartment building! I used to chat with her on the elevator! I'm still reeling over that!

Monday, November 16, 2009

In the hall of champions...













Who, or what is the best something-or-other? It's a classic conversation, and in some categories -- sports, cars, beautiful women or men -- nothing is definitive. The same holds true for consumer products. Jaxonia has many favorites, some of which are illustrated here, and while we are steadfast in our brand loyalty, we duly recognize honorable competition. We peacefully co-exist with Smuckers and Boar's Head people, and can even grudgingly admit a Miracle Whipper into our castle.


But there is ONE brand, one product, that really reigns supreme. It sits atop its competition comfortably and forever, and Jaxonia experts, given a choice, will accept no other.

Scott 1000 sheets toilet tissue is the best toilet tissue ever made!

The true mark of its superiority has nothing to do with scent or softness -- many competitors smell better and are gentler to the touch -- but in the end game, when one stares with panic at a fast-depleting roll, Scott alone delivers more, not less. There always seems to be enough Scott left to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. May it be forever so!



Sunday, November 15, 2009

A fun Ferrari-Fiat race



One lap around a Formula One track, a four-banger Fiat, a Ferrari Modena and a Ferrari Formula One racer. The two Ferraris, of course, are given severe time handicaps.

Let me see your identification...
You don't need to see any identification.
This isn't the page you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along... move along.